Friday, April 1, 2011

The Desires of MY heart...

Honestly, I've really struggled with the next part of the story...I've been so busy and finding time to write has been almost impossible! But here I am today waiting on return phone calls and thought okay, here goes...

I wish the rest of the story was just a bed of roses, but this is the turning point...the time when I really began to learn who GOD was. HE was there every moment I'd been away. HE was walking with me. HE knew how empty I'd be, but HE let me learn on my own how lonely life apart from HIM really could be. HE knew why I'd allowed the world to sway me from sitting at HIS feet. And now, I needed more than just to know HIM...I needed to understand and truly grasp who HE was, so that I'd never be tempted to stop looking to HIM again. Over the course of the next four years of my life, GOD became more than a being I'd heard about all of my life. HE became LORD of my life and this is how.

The more I learned about what GOD had done and would do and could do for me, the more excited I became. That's when I turned my prayer toward something else I desired...to be married. Every girl dreams of it; meeting prince charming and riding off into the sunset, but what I learned was there is no sunset and prince charming isn't who you thought. HE is more...

Psalm 37:4-Delight thyself also in the Lord: and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (KJV)

As I began to read and study my bible, something I'd never really been taught to do until I came to Wooddale, I found this verse and I just loved it! I mean really, who doesn't want all their dreams to come true! So my prayer went a little something like this...

Really GOD you'll give me whatever I want? There has to be a catch, right? Nobody gives you whatever you want without a catch. Okay, I want a husband, preferably a famous athlete...if he's not already married I really love Peyton Manning, but if not then I want to marry someone that is tall, dark and handsome. I want to have one, well maybe two kids, live in the city and have a fabulously glamorous job where I'm jetting all over the country to cover the hottest sporting events. Obviously that means I'll need to work at ESPN, so could the city we live in be Boston...it's an amazing city, the Celtics are there., and it's in New England, so I could make that work somehow. Okay, God that's all I think.

A little selfish maybe, but I had it mapped out perfect, or so I thought. The only problem was, I'd misunderstood that verse a little...well okay A LOT. Sure HE gives you the desires of your heart...but what you come to realize as you study GOD's word is the desires of your heart are futile without HIM. Furthermore, when your focus becomes GOD, your desires become HIS and what you thought you wanted, merely becomes a pipe dream.

It's funny how every one around me kept pointing me in his direction. It wasn't that I hadn't noticed he was attractive, because I did, but I really just wasn't interested. Earl is striking when you meet him. He's not tall, but he's not short either...his average height is really the only thing average about him. His face carries such strong features...a chiseled jaw line meeting a strapping square chin. Straight, white teeth that looked like the smiles you'd find only in Hollywood. And his physique, well it was obvious he took great care to obtain his muscular build and broad shoulders. Yet, there was a gentle ruggedness about him...which almost seems to be an oxymoron. How anyone can be rugged and gentle is beyond me, but somehow he was. However, the most striking thing about Earl was really his demeanor. There was the sweetest spirit that surrounded him. From the moment that I met him, I knew he was a genuinely nice guy who really had no idea how attractive he was, and that was something that I'd find to be more than true over the next four years.

2 comments:

  1. Okay so on going through and reading your whole blog which might I mention has been really good so far, but earl not know how attractive he is....come on. That man is vain in a funny way of course.

    ~Katie

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    1. It's true...he was vain in a lot of way LOL...but he didn't have the highest self esteem. So I think his vanity was more of because he wasn't assure of himself. It's hard to explain unless you meet him. Thank you for comment and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story that GOD gave us. :)

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