Friday, April 1, 2011

The Desires of MY heart...

Honestly, I've really struggled with the next part of the story. I wish the rest of the story were just a bed of roses, but this is the turning point...the time when I really began to learn who GOD was. HE was there every moment I'd been away. HE was walking with me. HE knew how empty I'd be, but HE let me learn on my own how lonely life apart from HIM really could be. HE knew why I'd allowed the world to sway me from sitting at HIS feet. And now, I needed more than just to know HIM—I needed to understand and genuinely grasp who HE was, so that I'd never be tempted to stop looking to HIM again. Throughout the next four years of my life, GOD became more than a being I'd heard about all of my life. HE became LORD of my life, and this is how.


The more I learned about what GOD had done and would do and could do for me, the more excited I became. That's when I turned my prayers toward something else I desired—to be married. Every girl dreams of it; meeting prince charming and riding off into the sunset. However, what I learned—there is no sunset, and prince charming isn't who you thought. HE is more.

Psalm 37:4-Delight thyself also in the Lord: and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (KJV)

As I began to read and study my bible, something I'd never really been taught to do until I came to Wooddale, I found this verse, and I just encapsulated me! I mean really, who doesn't want all their dreams to come true! So my prayer went a little something like this...

"Really, GOD, you'll give me whatever I want? There has to be a catch, right? Nobody gives you whatever you want without some sort of hitch. Okay, let me just try this out. What I really want is a husband. Preferably a famous athlete because I love sports and if he's not already married I really love to marry Peyton Manning. But if that's not possible, then I want to marry someone tall, dark and handsome. We will want to have one, well maybe two kids, live in the city. Oh, and don't forget about my fabulously glamorous job where I'm jetting all over the country to cover all the hottest sporting events. Obviously, that means I'll need to work at ESPN. Since that's in the New England area, we can just live in Boston—it's my all-time favorite city, and the Celtics are there. I'm sure since it's in New England I can make that work somehow. Okay, GOD, that's all I think."

A little selfish? Maybe, but I had it mapped out perfectly, or so I thought. The only problem was, I'd misunderstood that verse a little. Well, okay I misunderstood it A LOT. Sure HE gives you the desires of your heart, but what you come to realize as you study GOD's word is the desires of your heart are futile without HIM. Furthermore, when your focus becomes GOD, HIS desires become yours and what you thought you wanted, merely becomes a pipe dream. Here's how that happened to me.

It's funny how everyone around me kept pointing me in his direction. It wasn't that I hadn't noticed he was attractive, because I did. But I really just wasn't interested. Earl is striking when you meet him. He's not tall, but he's not short either...his average height is really the only thing average about him. His face carries such strong features—a chiseled jawline meeting a strappingly square chin. Straight, white teeth that looked like the smiles you'd find only in Hollywood. And his physique, well it was obvious he took great care to obtain his muscular build and broad shoulders. Yet, there was a gentle ruggedness about him—which almost seems to be an oxymoron. How anyone can be rugged and gentle is beyond me, but somehow he was. However, the most striking thing about Earl was really his demeanor. There was the sweetest spirit that surrounded him. From the moment that I met him, I knew he was a genuinely nice guy who really had no idea how attractive he was, and that was something that I'd find to be more than true over the next four years.

2 comments:

  1. Okay so on going through and reading your whole blog which might I mention has been really good so far, but earl not know how attractive he is....come on. That man is vain in a funny way of course.

    ~Katie

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    1. It's true...he was vain in a lot of way LOL...but he didn't have the highest self esteem. So I think his vanity was more of because he wasn't assure of himself. It's hard to explain unless you meet him. Thank you for comment and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story that GOD gave us. :)

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